autumnraining:

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE AN ACTUAL LINE FROM A FALL OUT BOY SONG:

“Anything you say can and will be held against you so only say my name”

IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S SMOOTH AS FUCK YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY FACE CAUSE THAT’S A SWEET-ASS PICKUP LINE

(via lyingnudieonthefloor)

h0odrich:

everything good makes you fat an addict or broke

(via jennifermorriswan)

2creepychihuahuas:

illbeyourfavouritedrug:

heathyr:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”

image

so slang is slang for slang

image

(via caitzamp)

dangerhamster:

safety-officer-barto:

marimoid:

omfg straight boys complaining about high waisted shorts and crop tops… have you SEEN a girl in high waisted shorts and crop tops?????? have u seen girls’ LEGS in high waisted shorts!???? have u seen a little peek of tummy in a crop top???????? what is WRONG WITH YOU

i think straight boys might be gay

of course they are, stick a drywipe marker pen within 5 yards of them see how long it takes them to draw a dick on something

(via lyingnudieonthefloor)

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?

(Source: proctalgia, via heliolisk)

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

(via zackisontumblr)